Archive | April 2017

Breakdown to Breakthrough: Writing, Indie Bookstore Day and Turning to Faith

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The tree in my front yard 

As the month of April wraps up, the flowers are beginning to bloom. I woke up this morning to see the tree in my front yard blossom to life with pink! I always liked spring for this reason: new beginnings, the winter thaw and the end of hard periods in life.

Today is Independent Bookstore Day. Falling on the last Saturday of April, indie bookstores around the country are celebrating with readings, parties, discounts, exclusive items for sale and so much more. My final two years of college were spent in indie bookstores: perusing their shelves, finding books that I would come to love and a sanctuary from the craziness of college life. If I didn’t have so many books, I would be at one of them today. I am forever grateful for these bookstores for what they do.

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Here are the books I’ve found at Indie Bookstores

Can’t forget the notebooks too: a tool every writer needs! (Pardon the lighting)

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This week was both a breakdown, and a breakthrough. My biggest frustration of late has been not writing for four months. The last thing written was a short story back in December. I have been writing posts on here of course, but it’s not the same. Writing should bring you joy, not misery.

Other things in my life also culminated in my breakdown a few nights ago. On my knees by my bed crying to God, wanting to scream but couldn’t so I didn’t wake up my parents. Tears and everything.

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“Pens” by Bradley Strong; Image taken from freerangestock.com

But I am reminded of something regarding breakdowns: they lead to a breakthrough. Two days before, it was around eight at night. Having completed my unpaid internship work for the day, nothing on TV, talking with a friend on Twitter and watching my favorite musician’s latest Facebook Live, I found myself opening a Word document.

I started typing. 500 words to be exact.

I wanted to cry. I thanked God twice. I was writing again.

I didn’t stop there either. The next two days, I was at my desk, typing. It was random, didn’t make sense, some of it was fanfiction.

But I was finally getting a habit in motion. 500 words a day, no more or less. Three or four times a week I will sit down at my desk at 8 p.m., writing 500 words. Being a fast typist, it doesn’t even take me an hour! Sometimes less than a half hour.

For now, I’m just establishing my writing time, no exact project in mind. But after maybe a few weeks, I will start one.

Never stop writing. We all have those dark periods where we can’t think of ANYTHING. I even signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo this year to try and get the juices going. But it didn’t.

It wasn’t until I showed up, as many writers and bloggers say, that the writing came. Smoothly, quickly and happily.

If you were/are in a similar dark period like I was, please don’t stop writing. Give yourself time to read a good book and focus on other interests. I truly believe the writing NEVER leaves you.

It’s always there, waiting for you to arrive.

This entry was posted on April 29, 2017. 1 Comment

End of Lent: Reflections and Doubts

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“Desert glow” by Chance Agrella; Credit: Image from freerangestock.com

Lent is now over and Easter is also over.

So how did I do with giving up Twitter?

…I did great. In fact, it was quite refreshing not having to stare at my phone, scrolling through my timeline for things I might have missed. Not caring about fandom trends or everyone’s opinions from politics and celebrities to everything-in-between.

But there was one thing missing.

I wasn’t writing.

My prior post was pretty grim and depressing because I wondered if I was truly a writer, or just telling people I was when I am really a fraud or joke. It should be easier because of places like Kobo, Amazon, Apple, Smashwords, NOOK Press and so on where you can publish an eBook. Blogging was also something the greats of old didn’t have.

As I write this…I wonder how can I inspire others as a writer…when I’m not making the time to do the work.

It has been almost a year since I graduated from college…and I feel like a failure. I actually woke up crying in the middle of the night last week feeling that way: about my life, no job, my faith, my passion, my dreams…an utter embarrassment, failure and screw-up.

Without getting personal, I am known for caring more for others than myself. That’s not necessarily a bad thing because one should not only care for themselves. But, it can become a bad thing if you neglect the things that make you happy.

If you neglect yourself.

Artists, scientists, politicians and the like. With everything we all care for and love…we struggle. We have those difficult days, weeks, months or even years feeling we have failed. That we are not where we’re supposed to be in our lives.

Stuck.

I will never be a perfect writer, nor a perfect Christian. I will continue to make mistakes and have regrets in my life. I did lose a couple followers for checking out from Twitter like I did. I didn’t do things I wanted to do. I did things I shouldn’t have done.

When does the moment come when you finally stop and decide to take charge of your life?

When does one sit down to write..and find their strength to embrace their passion again?