End of Lent: Reflections and Doubts

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“Desert glow” by Chance Agrella; Credit: Image from freerangestock.com

Lent is now over and Easter is also over.

So how did I do with giving up Twitter?

…I did great. In fact, it was quite refreshing not having to stare at my phone, scrolling through my timeline for things I might have missed. Not caring about fandom trends or everyone’s opinions from politics and celebrities to everything-in-between.

But there was one thing missing.

I wasn’t writing.

My prior post was pretty grim and depressing because I wondered if I was truly a writer, or just telling people I was when I am really a fraud or joke. It should be easier because of places like Kobo, Amazon, Apple, Smashwords, NOOK Press and so on where you can publish an eBook. Blogging was also something the greats of old didn’t have.

As I write this…I wonder how can I inspire others as a writer…when I’m not making the time to do the work.

It has been almost a year since I graduated from college…and I feel like a failure. I actually woke up crying in the middle of the night last week feeling that way: about my life, no job, my faith, my passion, my dreams…an utter embarrassment, failure and screw-up.

Without getting personal, I am known for caring more for others than myself. That’s not necessarily a bad thing because one should not only care for themselves. But, it can become a bad thing if you neglect the things that make you happy.

If you neglect yourself.

Artists, scientists, politicians and the like. With everything we all care for and love…we struggle. We have those difficult days, weeks, months or even years feeling we have failed. That we are not where we’re supposed to be in our lives.

Stuck.

I will never be a perfect writer, nor a perfect Christian. I will continue to make mistakes and have regrets in my life. I did lose a couple followers for checking out from Twitter like I did. I didn’t do things I wanted to do. I did things I shouldn’t have done.

When does the moment come when you finally stop and decide to take charge of your life?

When does one sit down to write..and find their strength to embrace their passion again?

 

 

 

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