I Need a Break

Image: Merelize (Freerangestock.com)

I know, once again, I haven’t written new blog posts. But I realized today I need to take time away for a while. My motivation is missing, I feel uninspired and don’t know what to even say…and I feel I’m doing a disservice by leaving people in the dark when there hasn’t been a new post for a couple of weeks.

I will continue my Book of the Month posts and the one in August will be up when my book pick has been read. I just feel really lost right now and need to walk away.

Let me assure everyone right here, right now, this is NOT the end of this blog nor am I leaving altogether. I just need to take a small hiatus…and think things over.

Hopefully when I come back and start posting again, things will be different and I can share that with all of you. I think it’s easy to act like you have it all together and pretend everything is fine when it’s not. In writing, that can happen because of how you choose which words to utter or withhold from your audience.

But I have always been a firm believer in being honest and holding myself accountable when I don’t put my best foot forward, and there are times I do, and times I don’t. I’m only human at the end of the day…and sometimes need to take a step back.

I don’t care if I lose followers on social media or here. Sometimes I need to remember ME and not what I expect from others in terms of views or comments.

I will be back, and hopefully a lot stronger the next time around.

The Importance of Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

 

Image: Jack Moreh (Freerangestock.com)

I have done something I should have done a long time ago. I learned this, finally, during my time in college.

Stepping out of your comfort zone. You see, it’s very easy for us, especially writers, to wanna “play it safe” with their work, or life in general. We worry about other people’s opinions, what the Internet or media would say and how family and friends would take our ideas.

My time in college forced me to step out of my comfort zone in terms of faith, confidence, communication and, ultimately, my passion. Some of you may know that in 2015, my final year of school, I lost my confidence.

Ir was the emptiest feeling I’ve ever had in my life. It happened because of those fears of other people, and even myself because of what I could really do. For a couple weeks, I managed to type out response logs for a class and write out papers, but it became harder. I kept doubting myself, I felt my work was horrible and unoriginal. That my ideas were silly.

I always preferred writing fiction or plays and monologues. Poetry I always did on a whim. Maybe I just needed to take a break. Make more time for books beyond schoolwork and write for myself and not for classes. That is a lesson I’m still working on to this day.

Image: Stuart Miles (Freerangestock.com)

Sometimes, you find yourself and shine most when you step out of the safety net. When I wrote a poem for myself, I found my confidence again. The feeling of accomplishing, albeit small and short, a written piece for myself made all the difference. My work with my alma mater’s Center for Religious and Spiritual Life sustained me too; leaving me fulfilled and proud of the stories I’ve covered, the people I’ve interviewed and learning about faith and life.

Since college, I try new things more: the MasterClass on writing taught by James Patterson, writing posts for this new website called YAYWORLD, wanting to do a serial fiction piece for Radish, this blog.

I’m not gonna lie and say stepping out to try something new happens overnight. It takes time. For me it’s taken a couple of years. At 24, I’m still learning and bettering myself, gaining confidence a day at a time.

Don’t be afraid, even in your writing, to check out other outlets to share your work, new genres you like reading and other writing forms.

How do you as a writer try to step out of your comfort zone?

 

Going Forward: What’s Next When Things Go Wrong

I would like to begin this post thanking everyone who checked out my prior post. I have sincerely appreciated and am grateful for the views. It wasn’t easy, but my best writing comes out when I’m honest and not hiding how I’m feeling.

Image: Jack Moreh (Freerangestock.com)

As I write this, I wonder how many of us found ourselves in this position. When they realize they’ve lost direction and debate how to move forward. Unfortunately, life doesn’t change overnight no matter how much–and I’ve done this too!–we wish for it. Sometimes the only thing you can really do is focus on what you can control in your life verses what you can’t.

I think it’s pretty easy for us to let life pass us by and bemoan at our failed dreams.

But…when you really think about it, is it all really THAT hopeless?

How many of you have heard the phrase, “This too shall pass”? Or, “There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel”? Like me, you have probably told yourself these phrases, but felt at times they weren’t making a difference. Even when clarity does arrive, you feel the regrets pounding at your door: You should have done this or that or why didn’t I do this, etc.

Image: Chance Agrella (Freerangestock.com)

That’s human. We are human. When I turned 24 a few weeks ago, I felt like I could take a deep breath and put my 23rd year behind me. Are the regrets around? Yes, they are. Are the struggles still here? Yep, they are.

But, the past doesn’t have to be.

How many of you wished you finished a book sooner? Wished you had entered that writing contest you ended up forgetting about? Wished you had taken the time to sit down at your computer, or grab that notebook, and write? Or, regretted something you wrote because you felt there was more you wanted to say that you didn’t consider before?

Here’s the thing. That’s the past. At this very moment, how much do we really have to lose? Go back to that book or start fresh. Watch for every contest opportunity and go for it by making a list and calendar tracking deadlines, word counts and other guidelines. With something you already did, you can always rewrite. Plus, the rewrite could become inspiration for a newer story you could be proud of.

Image: Jack Moreh (Freerangestock.com)

My fellow writers, going forward can be just as hard as realizing your feelings about things that matter to you, being honest with yourself about your mistakes and returning to your unfinished work, wondering why you stopped in the first place. You will get back up, but also face trials within yourself, from others and the curve-balls of life.

The key is not letting the past, those regrets and emotions win.

We all have the power to go forward.

We just need to take that first step, and take it one day at a time.

 

 

Faith, Passion, Honesty and Unemployment: We All Lose Direction, Including Writers

Image: Jack Moreh (Freerangestock.com)

I know it has been two weeks since my last post, and I apologize for that sudden disappearance and hiatus. One part was embarrassment and self-doubt because of the current situations in my personal life, a lack of inspiration and feeling, once again, hopeless and I wasn’t impacting people with my words and thoughts and…as I’ve begun to realize, a sense of loss.

Everyone who has read this blog is aware I have been struggling with a difficult job search since graduating from college in 2016. You are all also aware of my faith in God. I try my very best not to preach or share too much because I don’t wish to alienate readers who may be of a different religion, or none at all, than I am.

The past few weeks I put my reading of A Thousand Acres by Jane Smiley on hold so I could focus on career reference books. Some anecdotes the books had were useful, others a refresher and a few sections that didn’t fit my current situation and were skipped. I also found certain exercises helped me better understand myself and interests such as the Wandering Map exercise from You Majored in What? Mapping Your Path from Chaos to Career by Katharine Brooks, ED.D.

Image: Amazon.com

But one section caught my eye this morning from the 2016 edition of What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles. The section was near the end in the Blue Pages or Appendix: “A Guide to Deal with Your Feelings While Out of Work.”

That jumped out at me immediately even though I skimmed some of what was said, until I reached the area about religion. How many of us have discovered a section dedicated to religion in a book about job searching? Probably not a lot.

Image: Stuart Miles (Freerangestock.com)

With many things, I have felt my faith has been waning for many months now, my love for writing was one of the things I was losing heart with as well. The section in the Blue Pages talked about rethinking your faith opposed to abandoning it. As I read the paragraphs, I paused here: “A faith that thinks God is responsible for our unemployment, and He could have and should have prevented it, needs to grow up. It is too small a faith. It has too small a God” (296).

I have joked to friends I am “o ye of little faith” because I doubt and give up so easily when things go wrong in my life. That passage hit close to home for me. The following page contained a chart comparing a healthy religion and an unhealthy religion through gratitude and guilt, viewing the world as us or us v. them and the desire for God’s forgiveness and vengeance.

My energy has been spent, my faith feeling, frankly, small. I think if you take out unemployment, anyone can apply that passage to an unanswered prayer in their life, including writing. Feeling God is responsible for our story being rejected, a book not selling well, a writing habit falling apart. Writer’s Block too.

I have lost direction for many months and it’s been hard, hurting my heart and soul and my passion. Please know you are not alone if you are going through the same emotions right now.

I hope things will change soon, and my faith will become stronger once all is set and done. Opportunities are coming my way. I just have to take it a day at a time.

Please forgive me if I do not get to my Book of the Month pick for June. I’ll make up for it as I’ve done before.

Be kind to yourself and take time to breathe, because that’s how you find clarity, and hope, in your dreams and life again.

Have You Taken a Long Break from Your Book? You’re Not Alone

Titled “Clean modern desk with laptop” by StartUpStock Photos; Credit: freerangestock.com

I got an email today from writing website, The Write Practice, with this encouraging article that I felt like sharing today. The article was written by Monica M. Clark, titled “How to Start Your Book Again After a Long Break.” Apologies for no post last week; the job search and other personal matters had my attention.

Last November, I participated in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) for the very first time. I shared my experience in a prior post, which you can find here. There are lot of things I could have done differently, and frankly? I felt it stopped my love and desire to write a novel. Not because it was hard, that’s to be expected. But what I wrote…just didn’t come out as I had hoped. Plus, other ideas were bouncing around in my head which made it a lot more overwhelming for me.

So after NaNoWriMo, I took a break. Unfortunately, for four months I wasn’t writing. No short stories, no novel ideas, no poetry and no ideas for a play or monologue. The only writings happening really were for this blog!

It’s been hard. Even though I am writing 500 words a day 3 or 4 times a week…I guess it doesn’t feel right yet. Plus, I’ve been delving into fanfiction which is how writing, for me, started.

So when I read this article today, it felt like the answer I needed. What I love about articles from The Write Practice is how they break down the sections so it’s easier to find what you’re looking for and review what you already know. As you’ll see from Monica’s article, it’s broken down into 3 sections with a bonus anecdote about picking up your old writing projects being tough, but worth it.

My writing project ended up close to 20,000 words, maybe a little less. So basically a third of the way to the 50,000 minimum for a novel. Can I make my way back? Yes, I can. Will it be hard? Certainly!

But if it leads to an even better draft, then it’s worth it.

Also, if you’re unsure about word counts for your writing, this article from The Write Life is also a good read. It breaks the categories down by genre, age for Children’s Books and forms of fiction and nonfiction. Just remember, though, the numbers are the average range so if your word count is lower or higher than these numbers, that’s totally okay! For me though, aiming for slightly over the average might be a good rule of thumb. Keep an open mind!

Finding Your Voice: Thoughts on Chapter 4 of Writing with Quiet Hands

Credit: Image from Amazon.com

Earlier this week, I sat down to read a chapter of Paula Munier’s Writing with Quiet Hands. I last mentioned this book in a post reflecting on writing books and the teachers I learned from.

I wanted to take a moment to share my thoughts on chapter 4, “a voice of your own,” because it spoke to me and I feel it’s something we all can learn a thing or two more.

How many times have you found yourself putting off something you know you should be doing? That was me in this case because out of all the topics of interest in writing, voice has always been a more sensitive subject.  I’m sure I’m not the only one. As writers, we put our ideas, dreams and ultimately ourselves out there. Sometimes there is praise, other times ridicule and criticism.

But, there’s another thing to consider, and that’s our truths. This quote from the book jumped out at me: “Readers recognize truth when they see it–and they seek it out (59). Have you ever found a book that spoke to you? If so, then the author’s truth must have touched your heart. I’ve always told people writing was where I could be myself.

Authentic. Real, Honest.

I’m sure you too have shared the same thoughts. Writing is hard sometimes, and depending on what you’re writing about, can become more daunting because certain emotions hit too close to home.

Two things in this chapter also resonated with me: exploring first paragraphs from the classics and 4 lessons for growing and finding the writer voice. The books we enjoy like Stephen King’s It and Toni Morrison’s Beloved stay with us because of their voices, their engagement and stirring up emotions that frighten and make us think. The 4 lessons gave us real-life examples of writers trying to find their voice whether by revealing it more, remembering who we are, listening to the sound of one’s voice and how not to confuse voice with the plot of your story.

This chapter had a lot of good stuff, frankly. I also enjoyed the part exploring creative imitation where you think about the writers you love, the voices that speak to you and what about their works appeal to you. This helps you figure out what drew you to these writers and how you can apply them to your writing prowess.

This book has been excellent so far and like A Writer’s Guide to Persistence, I’m learning a lot: about myself, writing strategies and other parts of being a writer that I may have missed or ignored.

Don’t ever be afraid to learn something new or gain a new perspective on something you’ve always known. You never know what you’ll discover!

 

Reflecting on Last Night’s Events in Manchester, England

“Bokeh – Candles on dark background” by Jack Moreh  Credit: freerangestock.com

I have always been a firm believer in writing being an outlet for people to express themselves when words, sometimes, cannot be spoken. I hope, and pray, that I do God and everyone who reads this well. I also want to mention another blog post from someone I know on Twitter named Chelsy, who also responded to last night’s tragedy. You can check out her thoughts here.

Image credit: Chels on the Shelf

As many of you know, a terrorist attack happened in Manchester last night after Ariana Grande’s concert. 22 people dead, scores more wounded. There are people still missing as families try to reunite with their loved ones. Some answers are still unclear. As I write this…I still find it hard to articulate how I’m feeling. I am angry, gutted, heartbroken, sad…and shaken. I thought about the fans and their families. I thought about Ariana Grande. I thought about fellow concertgoers around the world. Young people–my age!–, teenagers, their parents just at a concert having fun. Music is a universal language that no matter who you are or where you come from, you are loved, you matter and are heard.

That peace was shattered last night.

NO ONE should ever have to worry about their child when they go to a concert with friends and family. NO ONE should ever have to worry about what might happen when they see their favorite artist.

…we all deserve to be, and feel, safe.

As I went to bed, I struggled to pray. I couldn’t play music to fall asleep. I wasn’t even in the mood to watch Jimmy Fallon and laugh to escape the troubles of life for a while.

Even today…it just doesn’t feel real.

As some of you may know, David Archuleta is my favorite artist. He is also my role model. His EP, Orion, was released just a couple days ago. His upcoming tour begins next week. I am worried and anxious: for him, his team, his band, and my fellow fans. I can imagine they are as well.

This morning, my phone went off as he shared his thoughts on what happened in a series of tweets.

I'm just stunned and sad for the tragedy at the Ariana Grande concert. 🙏🏼❤️ https://t.co/T0ShUqHN69

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

Guys, when you're sad and hurting, feeling empty or lost don't be afraid to reach out. Talk to someone. Let it out. There is a better way.🙏🏼

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

If you're feeling broken ask for help. You may not find every answer you're looking for but you'll be heard and sometimes that's all you…

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

…need. You may want to get back and get revenge for the pain and sadness you feel. But there's a better way. I promise.

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

Much love to you all!

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

I cried.

What David wrote…comforted me. A lot. Especially when he talked about the desire for revenge and wanting to strike back. That hit me right in the gut. I was especially touched to see him also take the time to respond to a fan who felt like she didn’t have anyone to talk to sometimes:

I feel like that at times too. Take courage through your nerves and talk to someone and you'll be surprised who will listen. Aunt, cousin.. https://t.co/Z3m55HpxSp

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

..friend, school counselor, teacher, someone at church. Don't be afraid to waste their time because you aren't a waste of time. https://t.co/Z3m55HpxSp

— David Archuleta (@DavidArchie) May 23, 2017

I wanted to share his response for the reason that there is still good in this world, but also the relationship between an artist and their fans…is a powerful, meaningful thing. I cannot imagine what Ariana Grande must be going through after what happened to her fans last night. There are no words frankly.

Fan of Ariana or not, you can relate because you are a fan of an artist you truly love and care for and go to their concerts. As I said earlier in this post, music is universal.

It is where we all connect.

I want to close my thoughts with a prayer, if that is okay.

Dear God, please be with the victims and survivors of last night’s bombing in Manchester. Be with the families who are grieving, still searching for a missing loved one and trying to comprehend this horrendous event. Enfold them in your arms and give them peace; bring them comfort and people to help them move forward as best they can

Please be with the staff at Manchester Arena as they try to make sense of this tragedy. Help them express whatever emotions they may be feeling whether it’d be anger or sorrow. Send their loved ones to be with them during this difficult time.

Please be with Ariana Grande, her team and fanbase. This is heartbreaking to them as well, what has happened. Hold them tight. Assure Ariana that she is not at fault in any way for what happened. Be with her fans as they mourn fellow fans and friends who passed way too soon and comfort those who are still injured in hospital and in shock and grief themselves. This is a time to unite and be there for each other. 

Please be with the artists who have concerts and tours in progress or about to begin, including David next week. Keep them safe as they travel, perform and do what they love as they bring joy, comfort and entertainment to their fans. 

And lastly, please be with the world. We need You more than we know…and it is through You and one another that we can achieve peace. For one day, let us be together and not judge because we don’t like this or that person or the politics in this complex world. This is a time for compassion and unity, not hate and condemnation.

In Jesus’s name, we pray.

Amen.